Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore”

never before had the need been so great
never more had I needed you to be in this place
never wanted to be all that you need
never thought that I would want to follow, you lead
never could see myself being so open
never wanted my heart to get broken
never comfortable being on display
never wanted you to see me this way
but now things have changed
and my nevers are turning into forevers
and forever my needs you will fill
and forever in my space we can be still
and forever as you are I want to join
and forever we will be 2 sides of one coin
forever my feelings for you will be true
forever I’ll be painting rainbows for you
forever I’ll never be alone,
because forever your heart will be my home

*dedicated to the S.O.

a favor for your favorite

I am your favorite
you cant get enough of me
I am your favorite
everything you ought to be
but I have a request
something I need for you to do
can you please let this favorite
be who she is to you?
I am not the barer of your dreams
what makes you giggle
doesn’t tickle me
I am not the horse
pulling your wagon
this isn’t my load to carry
being a mule isn’t in fashion
I am not the vessel for which you can achieve
I do have a purpose
I do have my own dreams
so this favor I ask
straight from your favorite
vicarious being
can you please let me do me
and live your own f***ing dreams?

restless

waking in a sweat
but I was never really asleep
rest ain’t the same
with something on my brain
I have something to do
but I cant remember what
and I cant sleep with vague thoughts of urgency
keeping me up
and when I’m awake
I can’t think
because I’m not doing what I’m supposed to be
but I don’t know what that is
or maybe I’m scared of what that should be
I can’t run fast enough
away from what I’m supposed to do
and I cant sleep long enough
to rest up for another fight
against what I know in my heart is right

priceless

if I had a dime for every time you said this love was all about me
if I had a dime for every time you said with this love we were complete
if I had a dime, but dimes don’t get me nothing now-a-days
nor does this love
and you aren’t giving me what I need
nor what I want
so like these dimes
and like this love
you are worthless
in my life

if I had a dime for every time I should have listened to my heart…

high strung

strung tight
nerves raw and swollen
my body is a migraine
and you are causing me pain
don’t speak
don’t look
don’t even think my way
snapping would be the supreme satisfaction
for a high strung bitch like me

Have Faith

I could go with the flow and fall for anything
I could stand up for my beliefs and snap in the resistance
I could float on the wave and surf down the tide
I could swim upstream and drown from exhaustion
I could be flexible but still be cautious of where I go
I could be a stick in the mud and wallow in my resilience
I could fail to act and be acted upon, victim of the smackdown
How about I just get a clue and have faith?

*faith is knowing that everything will be ok

qahweh

murky gray
angry black
I struggle to open my eyes
and tear myself away from the cozy hazy softness of my dream bed
but all is not lost
pour pour pour
dribble trickle plop
creamy beige mixing with dark coco black making mocha colored ecstasy
tear tear
white sprinkles of sugar cane
mix mix mix
pouring down
a thirsty throat
mmmm
mmmm
mmmm
yeah today will be a good day

frustrated

have you ever felt like the same ole fool celebrating a whole new year
have you ever felt like the goals that weren’t there last year are all the more clear,
but the skills to achieve them for you aren’t that near?
have you ever had a conversation that never seemed to end
have you ever had a thought that no one else could comprehend,
but still you try to convey it, scribing it on the walls hand permanently stuck to your pen?
have you ever had a feeling, felt some kind of way
have you ever wished you could act and make them feelings go away,
but you didn’t know what you were feeling and which should leave and which could stay?
have you ever wanted to be alone, but share your time with a friend
have you ever looked around and saw that you were surrounded in the end,
but still didn’t have someone to call your own, no friend, no homie no lover even then?
have you ever felt frustrated by everything around you
have you ever discovered the cause was all about you,
but just didn’t know what to do?