I need an easy button!

In this world of multitasking and corner cutting, finding the most efficient way to do something has been bred in to me. I don’t know how to do stuff the long and difficult way. However, this way of doing things is not lost onto the bureaucratic nation of working for the state and cube life. In my efforts to get something done by my always impending deadline of “yesterday”, I always feel the need to move quickly. My superiors always find a way to throw a monkey wrench in my project fast track, which leads me to respond, out loud, with negative close ended statements. These statements fly from my mouth with such speed and accuracy that if you weren’t listening closely, you would swear I’d just called the recipient an idiot or stupid. This, as you can imagine, does not endear me to the management team. So what is my salvation? A big round red button with the word EASY written in white across the front. When this miracle button is pressed a phrase is uttered “that was easy”. In my mind, the voice is laden with sarcasm, and sounds just as good as saying “you idiot”. I get a kick out of it every time I make my coworker press it. I love this button! I think if I had my own button, I wouldn’t have to say anything after management sends me on a wild goose chase to find something that a) was already on their desk, or b) no longer exists.

I just want to say thank you to the marketing geniuses at staples for perhaps preventing a lot of name calling and employee employer brawls on my behalf.

That was easy!