Conversate is not a word.: Child-Free and Fabulous! The C & F Club

Conversate is not a word.: Child-Free and Fabulous! The C & F Club

My Inner Man: Part 2

Nora Vincent has me steeped in the world of a lesbian trying to pass as a man in a man’s world doing man things. I felt compelled to do my own experimentation. In the middle of a paragraph about dating women as a man, and two ice cream sandwiches later, I jumped out of the bed, got into my car, and sped off to Target. Enough with the talking about it, I was going to get me some guy gear and explore this repressed side of myself.

At Target I made my way to the men’s section and straight to the sale rack. There was no need to invest more in this phase than I would in my regular wardrobe. I put together, rather quickly, some vintage wash jeans and a matching t-shirt that had a picture of a squirrel holding up two acorns saying mines are bigger than yours. You know this shirt spoke to me. I reflected back on my days in high school and remembered how much my jeans sagged, so much so that I wore out my belts trying to keep them strapped to my lower waist, and wore out the bottoms of the jeans from having them drag on the floor constantly. That wasn’t the look I was going for. I wanted baggy, but classy, so I adjusted the waist and length to give me room to move, but stay controllably off the ground. Since I hate changing rooms and trying on clothes in public, I bought the outfit, less than $30 total, and took it home planning on giving my girlfriend a drag fashion show.

Back at home, during my prep time before the show I discovered that how big I was in my mind and how big I am in reality was definitely NOT the same. The sizes I’d chosen had me looking like a gay man, one of the train boys*, waaaayyyy tighter than a metro sexual. I didn’t know men’s clothes could cling to the female form and be so flattering. This was something I had to ponder further at another time (I could get nice jeans, cheaper than woman’s jeans, that didn’t have the pouch in the front and left my crouch with room to breath, hmmmmm). Tight was definitely NOT the look I was going for. So back to the store I go to try again. Stay tuned!


*train boys- in Atlanta’s subways I used to observe boys, young men, who wore tight men’s jeans, hanging halfway or completely off their butts and little t-shirts and tank tops. They were showing what they were selling, I’ll blog more about this later.

My Inner Man: Part 1

I’ve had a secret, or maybe not so secret fascination with transsexuals, or more specifically the fluidity of which some people can go from one gender to another, with or without surgery. I’m fascinated with living like the other and have been wanting to try my hand in passing as a man. As a teenager I dressed “hip hop”, with the baggy clothes and baseball caps. It was the style in the 90’s and my friends and I loved it. Being a former tomboy, I wallowed in the men’s section and wouldn’t be caught dead in the women’s section. I didn’t really learn what my size was in women’s clothes until I got to college and felt more at ease flaunting my sexuality. Later on in my early twenties I cut off all my hair and wore a short natural, again the current style for all hip sistas attending college. Because of my short hair and slim physique, when I put on a hat and a hoodie, I had quite a few older folks mistake me for a boy. Back then this enraged me, after all I was trying to be sexy! However now-a-days, age, weight, and a second puberty has caught up to me, leaving me with curves and a DD rack. This makes it damn near impossible for me to pass as anything but what I truly am.
When Oprah did her show about the pregnant man, a number of good books about transsexuals started to get some buzz. One of these books is called “Self-Made Man” a women’s year dressed and living as a man by Norah Vincent (that’s not exactly how the title goes). I’m still reading the book and am so enthralled. Her experiences as a man are so far hilarious and enlightening. However some of her reactions and transitional issues are some that I’m finding I wouldn’t have a problem with. The more I read the book, the more I think I could pass as a guy. Specifically communication style and mannerisms. My pops must’ve rubbed off on me in more ways than I thought. Something is to be said about little girls that 1) have a natural inclination to be a tomboy and 2) are raised by their fathers who perpetuate the tomboy because they don’t want to see their little girls in dresses.
So as I’m reading the book, I’m leaning more and more towards donning some homeboy gear and getting my swagger back. Stay tuned!