Showing posts with label office culture. Show all posts
Showing posts with label office culture. Show all posts

Thursday, August 7, 2008

I need an easy button!

In this world of multitasking and corner cutting, finding the most efficient way to do something has been bred in to me. I don’t know how to do stuff the long and difficult way. However, this way of doing things is not lost onto the bureaucratic nation of working for the state and cube life. In my efforts to get something done by my always impending deadline of “yesterday”, I always feel the need to move quickly. My superiors always find a way to throw a monkey wrench in my project fast track, which leads me to respond, out loud, with negative close ended statements. These statements fly from my mouth with such speed and accuracy that if you weren’t listening closely, you would swear I’d just called the recipient an idiot or stupid. This, as you can imagine, does not endear me to the management team. So what is my salvation? A big round red button with the word EASY written in white across the front. When this miracle button is pressed a phrase is uttered “that was easy”. In my mind, the voice is laden with sarcasm, and sounds just as good as saying “you idiot”. I get a kick out of it every time I make my coworker press it. I love this button! I think if I had my own button, I wouldn’t have to say anything after management sends me on a wild goose chase to find something that a) was already on their desk, or b) no longer exists.

I just want to say thank you to the marketing geniuses at staples for perhaps preventing a lot of name calling and employee employer brawls on my behalf.

That was easy!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Yet To Be Realized Potential of a Creative Class Superstar....

by Tiha and Alise

There are the bullies and the bullied
There are the popular and the socially awkward
There are the Bes and the wanna-bes

Some time after high school class culture meets real world life stressors meets survival of the fittest the lines blur and roles change.

The bullies become leaders or dictators (depending on the country)
The popular become entertainers
The Bes are being happy

And the bullied, socially awkward and wanna-bes are in management.
Welcome to cube life!

I think, therefore I am......an outcast in this cubicle nation
Weirdo among automatons scared of recreation...
Not satisfied with status quo and placation
But it is I who is the skeleton key to workplace rejuvenation...
Yet when I cross the cubicle borders I am faced with condemnation,
New ideas faced with scoffs and irritation....


Even complacency is complaining about the tedium of my cubicle existance.
Going against it's very nature, it has planned a mental revolt.
It kidnapped serenity and left a note saying:
give us fulfillment! give us challenge! give us free! or the bitch gets it...


I am a wolf in business casual attire
Ribs are touching..... so I am stalking, staking, slithering, & scoping....
Shuffling around in sensible shoes searching and salivating for something worth sinking my fangs in
Trying futily to fit in with the flock.....
A time bomb with teeth.... tick.... tock....